For this reason, perhaps being a little head strong isn’t such a bad thing. To be willfull and determined about safeguarding one’s mental health isn’t a nice-to-have, it’s a non-negotiable! 

Here’s how to do it:

PICK YOUR BATTLES

Feeling overwhelmed? Perhaps it’s time to firm up your circles. In his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey tells depicts our lives as two concentric circles. The inner circle (our circle of control) is everything in our world that we have direct influence over—our thoughts, values, choices, existing relationships, and resources.

The space between the inner and outer circle is our circle of concern.

These are the things we care about, but which we have no or very little control over—they could be the choices and thoughts of others, the news headlines, unforeseeable events, the economic market, the problems all around us, other people’s dramas, triumphs, and disasters.

If we focus most of our energy on the things in our circle of concern, our circle of influence begins to shrink until we feel surrounded by more and more things that concern us, but that are beyond our control. If we focus on our circle of influence however, it tends to expand so that, slowly but surely, we start to influence more and more of the things that concern us.

Each one of us needs to discern what is in our control and what is beyond our control. It is the first step to living head strong lives.

STAY GRATEFUL

This is easier to write than to live, but it’s true: real contentment can be found anywhere, in any situation where we’re actively looking for the good, and then grateful for it.

STOP PICKING ON YOURSELF

Replace the ruthless, fruitless, self-harming habit of self-criticism with simple compassion. Instead of beating yourself up for what you haven’t done—practice dwelling on what you have gotten right. Instead of seeing the miles you have yet to cover, look back and see the journey that’s got you this far.

YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP

As mothers, we tend to think that we need to take care of others first, before ourselves. But looking after our mental health should never be an optional luxury. When an airplane runs into serious trouble, passengers are told to put their own oxygen masks on first, before helping anyone else, even their kids. This isn’t selfishness – it’s for the survival of everyone on board!

In the same way, looking after yourself is an indirect (and very important) way of looking after your loved ones.

After all, we can’t pour from an empty cup. So find what fills you, and stay head strong friends!