My father is a Xhosa of royal blood, born and bred in rural Pirie Mission outside Qonce (previously King William’s Town). My mother was a typical township girl, whose own father was mixed race. My father often jokes that he’s always been ahead of his time. As a rural boy from a royal clan, he could marry anyone apart from a Mfengu bride. For those who are not familiar with Eastern Cape politics, the Mfengu’s are said to be a Nguni tribe which migrated from KwaZulu Natal during the Mfecane wars. They had their own dialect prior to finding refuge amongst the Xhosa’s and that is how they got to be Xhosa speaking. My mother’s clan name is Nozulu (a part of the Mfengu tribe). Though my mother’s culture and traditions were very different to that of my father’s, an African version of Romeo and Juliet unfolded – with a much happier ending I’m happy to report. 

Like many South Africans, I grew up in a multi-tribal, multi-religious and therefore multi-cultural home. Whilst our Xhosa heritage is patriarchal, and we followed the heritage of my father, one can never deny the impact of their other half. As such, our homegrown heritage was a full range of different cultural practices that honoured and unified our family tree’s very different sides.

Our homegrown heritage was a full range of different cultural practices that honoured and unified our family tree’s very different sides.

As a result of these roots, it’s been relatively easy for me to build my own multi-racial and multi-cultural home and life. In my own family, our cultural heritage is seen and celebrated in all the big and small ways we honour and observe the customs, practices and places that have been passed on from generation to generation.

Seeing oneself like this - as a link in a far longer chain - is a beautiful thing.

In our home, whilst myself and my English husband’s culture and heritage may look very different, we have found common ground in our values. Whilst we respect and draw from both of our past heritages, we’re creating a new, unique-to-our-family heritage and culture... in this one, there’s lots of dancing, music and laughter which unite us. Our children understand themselves as both English and Xhosa. They are both. We teach them (and ourselves) to see their genetic make-up, their upbringing and the way in which we have raised them as a great gift for the world. One we hope they will in turn share and celebrate with their children.

What’s your unique heritage story? Perhaps take some time to share it with someone else this Heritage Day. And to hear their’s in return.

In this way, we can truly honour this day, ideally whilst laughing together beside that braai!